About 6 weeks after I had Jack, some time in September 2011, I drove from Peoria to Kentucky to visit. I knew Grammie hadn't been feeling well and wanted to try to perk her up with a little visit from the babies. I would go into her room just to chat and rock Jack in her comfy rocker exhausted from being up all night. Her room had pictures and trinkets from all throughout the years and I would just sit and listen as she told me about the family tree and funny family stories in her feisty Grammie way. As she talked I would be fidgeting with Jack's blanket and trying to swaddle him. When she'd notice Jack continue to fuss and how defeated i looked, she would offer to take him. I was grateful for the break. I would watch her hands begin to slip back into old routine. Each movement had been practiced and perfected with each of her children. There wasn't a glimpse of hesitation in her hands as she unwrapped his blanket. The clumsy folds I had created were smoothed and crisp. His feet were gently tucked in where they belonged. Her voice began to change and soften as she whispered and held him in the crook of her elbow. He would just fall asleep in her arms and she would lay back and drift off too, smiling slightly. She was content. I felt so connected to her in that moment. Every second of worry or hesitation as a mother just kind of melted away as I watched her. I don't have to second guess again because I finally got it. I don't have to try to be a good mom anymore, it is already in me. She had given us all this gift. She had at one time or another swaddled us, gently rocked us to sleep and had eased our worries. It took practice for her to perfect at swaddling, but it wasn't about the perfection it was about the love she felt as she cared for him. And it continued with each new addition to the family. She loved her family deeply and I will pass that on to my children. Grammie, I am so grateful for the time we shared. I love and miss you. Kelly